Why purpose isn’t found but built—how losing purpose in television led me to rediscover it through craft, feedback, and working with my hands.

The Myth of Finding Purpose

People always talk about finding their purpose like it’s a destination.

Like one day you wake up, the clouds part, and suddenly everything makes sense.

That never happened to me.

In fact, I’d argue the opposite happened.

When Success Stops Feeling Like Progress

I lost my sense of purpose doing something most people would assume was my purpose.

I spent years in television. Built a career. Produced shows. Sat in rooms developing ideas, pitching concepts, shaping stories, standing on sets, eating craft service. From the outside, it looked like I had found it.

But somewhere along the way, something went quiet.

I wasn’t learning anymore. I wasn’t curious. I wasn’t chasing anything other than money.

The process started to feel… repetitive.

Not hard. Not even frustrating. Just flat.

Pitch. Sell. Develop. Rewrite. Repeat.

And when you stop wanting to get better at something, it’s a dangerous place to be.

Because purpose, at least in my experience, lives inside that desire.

The Return to Small Things

What brought it back wasn’t some grand reinvention.

It was small.

Almost embarrassingly small.

Working with my hands.

Mixing flour and water.

Feeling dough change under my fingers.

Putting something in an oven… and pulling out something real.

There was a beginning, a middle, and an end. And at the end, there was proof.

You made this.

The Power of Immediate Feedback

And then something else happened.

Feedback.

Immediate. Honest. Unfiltered.

People took a bite. You saw their reaction. You didn’t need a meeting, a focus group, or a network note.

You knew.

And if it wasn’t good enough, you adjusted.

A little more hydration. A little more time. A different flour. A different approach.

Then you tried again.

And got a little better.

The Loop That Creates Purpose

That loop—
Make.
Get feedback.
Adjust.
Improve.

That’s where something woke up in me.

Not purpose as a concept.

Purpose as a feeling.

Curiosity Comes Back Online

And here’s the part I didn’t expect:

The better I got, the more I wanted to learn.

The more I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know.

And instead of that being discouraging, it was energizing.

That’s when I started asking a different question.

Not “What is my purpose?”

But:

“Where does this go?”

And more importantly:

“Does it even need to stop?”

When the Climb Flattens

Because in television, it felt like it stopped.

Not externally. The work was still there. The opportunities were still there.

But internally, the curiosity was gone.

The climb flattened out.

And once that happens, it’s hard to fake it.

Why People Feel Lost

I think a lot of people who feel like they don’t have a purpose aren’t actually missing one.

They’re just disconnected from the process that creates it.

They’re looking for a big answer instead of a small signal.

Something simple like:

• Do I enjoy doing this?
• Am I getting better at it?
• Do I care enough to try again tomorrow?

That’s it.

That’s the whole thing.

How Purpose Actually Builds

Purpose doesn’t show up fully formed.

It builds.

Quietly.

Through repetition.

Through small improvements.

Through caring just enough to keep going.

No Finish Line

I didn’t lose my purpose.
I lost my interest in the process that created it.

I didn’t find my purpose in a moment.

I felt it come back when I started paying attention to the small things again.

Using my hands.

Making something real.

Listening to feedback.

Getting a little better.

And then wanting to do it all over again.

If there’s a destination, I haven’t found it yet.

But for the first time in a long time…

I’m not in a rush to get there.

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